h2o

Have you ever stared at water?  Have you ever thought about what water is?  Like what it really is, in it's live essence, it's living state, it's molecular structure and not just its sustainable state for you.  Water is the most abundant compound on the Earth's surface.  We all obviously know that roughly 70 percent of this earth we live upon is water.  I'm not going to try to figure out why fully, but it certainly sparks curiosity.  I'm curious why it is not the reverse, why earth isn't 30 water and 70 percent land.  I should have paid more attention in science classes.  Damn religion, ego, ignorance, and hormones.  On the positive, good thing I live in a generation where I can learn anything I want with the click of a button (pending the source be reliable and from an expertise).  Anywho, back to my question.  Have you ever stared at water?  Like really stared?  To the point you see the energy within it?  To the point you feel the power it holds?  To the point that you may never look at water in the same gravity and perspective?  Well I have and its intriguing.  I have barely begun this.  I'm confused how far to research it and even how to, but that is ok, because I'm fascinated with it.

2013 has begun and much has already transpired in just 27 days.  I've spent time in San Francisco, CA on two different trips and have another one planned next week.  I'm working two jobs, both in new fields, and learning abundantly in a short period of time.  I'm learning that for me, honesty really is the best policy.  I use to be so scared of honesty.  I know why and don't need to rehash that, but it's freeing and liberating to truly be honest, both with yourself and with others.  I'm obviously talking on a deep, internal, love aspect, but it correlates for me into little things in life as well.  What do I mean exactly?  Take this for instance.  How often when someone asks you if you like something, do you truly be honest with them?  Or maybe look at it from this angle.  When someone asks you if you like something, you respond with whatever you think they may want to hear or what you know they like because deep down inside you have no idea if you like it or not.  Isn't that ok though?  Isn't it ok to say to someone, what do you mean, I have no idea.  Isn't it ok to disagree?  Maybe I am talking elementary because of how I was raised and how much fear I use to live in, but for some reason and feeling within me, I don't think I'm alone with this thought.  What is it that makes us feel obligated to be somebody we are not?  What is it that makes us feel as if we have to agree to get along.  The more I disagree with people, in a calm and loving manner, but an honest manner, the more I see whether or not they are truly my friends. The more I be honest with others, despite what they may think about the situation at hand or what they may even think about me after the fact, the more I find myself.  The more I find who I am and what I was put on this earth to contribute.  The more honest I am with myself, the more fulfilled I feel.  Do you feel this way?  I don't think I am the only one.  And you know what, even if I am the only one, I'm ok with that because if I wasn't ok with that, my thoughts and premises stated earlier would be hypocritical and erroneous.  Oh the conundrums and fluidity of life, thought, feelings, energy, and science.  What a beautiful dance it is when willing to listen to the music playing inside of you!  Going back to San Francisco.  I spent a few wonderful days there embracing 2012's end and contributing to the commencement of 2013 with some of the most important people in my life!  Not only are they family, but they are friends and teaches and companions and fellow travelers!  And you know what I did to end an old chapter and begin another?  I watched water.  I observed the ocean.  I watched its movement.  I saw its beauty.  I saw its power.  I saw its elegance.  I saw its rhythm.  I saw its intention.  I saw its fluidity.  I watched it slowly roll in toward the rocky cliffs.  I watched it come in from afar, crash upon the solid rocks, shoot up into the sky, settle back down in little swirling pools, and then you know what I watched?  I watched it leave.  I watched it wash away.  I watched it rhythmically maneuver its way back out to sea.  But then I watched it all happen again, and again, and again.  It never stopped.  It never ceased.  Different waves came in, and how they crashed varied, and some washed away faster than others, but the process was the same.  The beautiful dance was the same despite the differences of rhythm.  It was a beautiful site and energy to be amongst.  After a good chunk of time watching this, I wrote a few things down and tossed it away in the sea.  I gave it back to the water.  Trusting in the rhythmical patterns and fluidity it embodies.  I wrote down a few things that I wanted to release and let go of for they are meant to be back in the ocean and not upon my shores and I also wrote down things I desire the ocean carries my way to crash upon my shores in 2013!  It was a powerful day, and a large component to its beauty was that I took the time to watch the water.  Thank you water, thank you.

-cheers h2o

Profundity of Hair

I have gained a new perspective and respect toward women.  Last night after my shower, I realized how hair can be a chore when you are not use to having long hair.  For years of my life, I had short hair.  Clean cut, never more than an inch or two max, and easily dry-able without any needs necessary than the air we breathe.  Now, not so much, and I love it!!!  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love the freedom it brings.  My long hair is assisting me in releasing control in life.  Seriously you might say?  Yes, seriously.  Allow me to explain.  For years, I had short hair that I would wax or pomade and no matter the wind, unless it was extreme, it wouldn't move.  But that isn't how life is suppose to be.  Everything moves.  Everything is moving.  Nothing is stagnant.  And the moment you and I become, is the moment that we stop evolving.  Thus, my hair is teaching me to let go.  My hair is teaching me the beauty in movement.  The beauty in change.  The beauty of imperfection because imperfection is actually the artistic beauty that brings you to your next destination.  If everything was perfect, then nothing would need to happen.  How boring would life like that be.  No thanks.  Now, when I walk down the street, I feel the wind grab hold of the follicles as if it is a soft delicate hand running its fingers through.  It makes me feel alive.  It makes me aware of the now.  It makes me see that sometimes in life your hair blows in your face and it is difficult to see but that doesn't mean you stop walking, stop living.  No, on the contrary, it means that you embrace the difficulties, you embrace the cloudy vision, you embrace that you may not know what is going on and trust that you are walking in the exact direction of your next opportunity!  You gain confidence in yourself.  You gain confidence that the wind is more than wind.  Maybe wind is God himself, or herself, or itself, or just self.  Maybe the wind is telling you which direction to look, to walk, to shift and or to follow.  Maybe the wind is the breathe of the living cosmos that we all walk amongst guiding you each step of the way in this beautiful mysterious and boundless life.

Then, upon these insights, new ones came about.  I began to think about the "respect for women" thought.  Why do I associate long hair with women.  We are all humans, right?  We all have hair, right?  Why then did my mind firstly associate gaining respect for women because they have long hair.  Why didn't I think about all humanity that has long hair.  Why?  Because of my experience.  Because of my traditions.  Because of my society and contextual structures that I was raised and lived for so long.  Well, thankfully those structures are being widened and deepened and opened and well, lets be honest, boundless!  Don't we all have masculine and feminine qualities.  Don't all humans contain both masculine and feminine hormones.  Surely there are anatomical physical traits that separate male and female, but that doesn't mean that we are solely male or female.  Surely we are all different and have differences, but let's step to the side and look at our similarities.  Don't we all have very similar tendencies, qualities, scientific data, anatomy and feelings.  Now please here me, I know we all have incredible differences as well based upon our own unique lives, but scientifically speaking and philosophical deduction points that we are all uniquely connected as one species as well.  Thus, why do we separate ourselves so much.  Why do we view differences in personality, appearance, communication, philosophy, faith, and religion as dividing points.  Aren't we all of the same essence?  

A few weeks ago, late in the night, I was walking home to my apartment alone when two young guys whom I was about to pass on the sidewalk verbally made fun of my "scarf".  Now I didn't care because clearly these two individuals were ignorant, drunk, close-minded, and insecure.  What they said is not of importance, although it was quite degrading and if I chose a different sexually than I do could even be considered a hate crime by our legal system, but when they said it I stopped and said hello.  I said, I'm sorry, did you say something to me?  They began to laugh and hit each other while saying, look at this tough guy he wants to start something.  I replied something along the lines of, I'd love to start a conversation with you if you want.  Now, I know I may have been instigating these individuals a bit, but I felt compelled to stand and listen since they were the ones to speak to me first.  As they walked toward me, I said nothing and smiled.  One of them at about 3' in front of me took one big step toward me, pulled his arm back, and as he lunged his fist toward me I turned my head to the side and down a little.  Thankfully, he stopped his "scare tactic" air-punch and I did not get punched.  I then stood up straight.  Thanked them for saying that I had a "nice" scarf, despite if I had to assume at this point I don't think they meant it in the same fashion and cheers'd them a good night.  As I began walking away, they followed asking me why I was walking away and if I wanted to fight.  I gave them a little peace sign and continued on my way and a few steps later they ceased following and went back in their direction.  Again, I want to state it wasn't the best for me to stop and create a conversation with these two guys because it was apparent from the get go they didn't want to have any sort of intellectual let alone respectful conversation.  But, I'm glad I did stop.  I'm glad I didn't succumb to their tactics.  I'm glad I didn't throw hate back in their face.  I'm glad I smiled at them and wished them well.  The point of why I share this story is not for what I did or what they did, but for intellectual awareness and thought provocation.  What on earth allows someone to think that just because they look different, speak different, act different, think differently, and believe differently they are actually any different.  Different doesn't mean different.  I hope you're still following amongst these differences.  For instance,  maybe 10 people will read this quite sporadic, grammatically individual, and not great syntactical blog.  But, will all 10 people read it the same?  Will the same thoughts be provoked afterward?  Do all 10 look the same?  Do all 10 have the same hair?  Of course not.  And to expound further, not only do all 10 have different hair, but probably all 10 have different winds blowing their hair in different directions.  Thus, no matter your hair and the direction of the wind, may you float with that wind as beautifully as the clouds!  Last but not least, I write this for myself.  I believe that the majority of what an individual says and writes is actually because they desire it within.  Thus, these writings are for me, so that I continue to blow with the wind as beautiful as the clouds and that I choose to Love everyone and everything despite differences.  And if for some reason these words resonate at all with whomever may read them is for lack of better thought right now because I'm tired, "icing on the cake".

-namaste