Care without Caring

My laptop battery is at 12% and I left my plug at my studio. This post will be quick. Is life meant to be peaceful? There are many translations of 'peace', and it's a question for all, thus I am not going to define peace because whatever it means to you is important. Lately my life hasn't been peaceful. It has been chaotic, fast, rushed, and almost nervously unsettling. Is it because I am busier than normal? Is it because I have much more responsibility in my life than ever before? Is it because I am saying yes to much and no to little. Is it because I'm averaging 4-5hrs of sleep a night (by my choice so I'm not complaining, but am hurting a bit and reaping the consequences). I believe these all attribute slightly. But the main source I am finding is other people. I am not at peace when I worry about what other people think of my actions. I work in an industry that is all about promoting world class services to people. Assisting them, teaching them, selling to them, listening to them, and ultimately making their daily experience better than the day priors. It's rewarding, fun, ever-changing, relatively easy, but damn taxing at times! Some days I go in, I am a rockstar and I don't care what the members and or people think and those days go great. Others however, I worry. I let other people's emotions, thoughts, and feelings dictate my peace. Because lets be honest, no matter how well one does something, if the other person doesn't think they did it well they look at you differently. They treat you differently, and they talk about you and to you differently. This is a sad truth that forces me to learn how to continuously care without truly caring. What a conundrum! I love life's conundrums. Conundrums make the world go round, along with questions, and oxygen, and water...... Ok, 1%....here's to conundrums!

Does Johnny Miller actually know what he's talking about?

I hate to admit this, but of all the people in the world whose words could inspire me, yesterday they came from Johnny Miller. That's right, the brash, abrasive, egocentric (so I thought till after his interview), often rude, and filterless golf analyst shared a lot of insight that got me thinking deeply....shocking right? As I rested, healing from my bodies massive revolt against me saying, "sleep, ever heard of it? You are not superhuman," I watched David Feherty interview Johnny Miller. Miller was arguably the best ball striker of all time, especially in his run in the 70's. What I didn't know was that Johnny's run in the 70's wasn't a lucky time stretch where he got hot and then fizzled out for years to no avail. Quite the opposite. Johnny Miller retired amidst his run, amidst his prime, amidst his glory days. Why? Because of his family, because of his wife, because of his kids, because of his character. Johnny Miller, character? Really? I was humbled, oh how quick I am too judge someone by their initial words without understanding the years and years of rootage that goes deep into the soil of one's soul to produce a current word. People don't just speak a sentence out of thin air. They speak it out of the fertilized soil called their soul, their heart, their mind, their body, their very being! How often do we here what someone says and write them off before inquiring and heaven for bids take the time out of out lives to ask them questions about what they truly meant by their words. Or even better, realize that their life is not exactly like ours, their mind doesn't tick exactly like ours, because life doesn't evolve around you and they way you have lived. You are a miniscule part, one of Billions who have lived life here on this earth, and all are....wait.....have the potential to be as beautiful if not more brilliant than yours. I believe everyone is equal, all are beautiful in their own right, however, why do some stand out more? Why do some names become known while others cease to be read? What makes people Great? If we all have the ability to be great, what does it take within the individual to choose greatness? Can greatness be chosen?

I was sitting on the couch with a good buddy last night. We were talking about future goals, plans, and situations we dream and are working toward achieving. He said something along these lines, "when you get to the certain point as we are, greatness comes by being risky. It rarely comes through a comfortable situation." I couldn't agree more, but is that all it is, risk? Johnny Miller told David Feherty that their were tournaments, the British Open and US Open, where he believed he deserved to win. Deserved? Now I don't know about you, but I was raised and indoctrinated to believe that one doesn't deserve anything but death. Without being overally dramatic, I 10% agree with that statement and 90% believe is it out of context horseshit. If you work hard, I think it is downright ok to believe you deserve to be compensated accordingly. However, that doesn't mean if you don't, you throw a tissy fit or become a 7 year old at a carnival that doesn't get as big a snow cone as their friend and knocks it out of their hand. No, you continue working hard, believing that it will pay off in the end. Believing that just because you may deserve something, doesn't mean it will always pay out the way we expect it to. And if I am honest with my life and it's experiences, moreso than not, my expectations aren't as half as good as what truly transpires through my hard work and dedication.

When Miller said, I deserved to win those tournaments, it was a feeling within himself. A belief within himself, based upon hard work and dedication. The previously shared that as a young man his father had him practice endlessly. He had him hit golf shots from obscure places, under trees, behind trees, buried lies under lips of the bunker, downhill slopes to tucked pins, blind shots, and shots over water...lots of water. What he said this instilled in him was Belief. He believed that he worked harder than anybody else he was competing against. He believed that he deserved to win, not because of Pride or Privilege, but because of Preparation. Because he knew that he could hit any shot, even if he didn't ever have to hit one of those shots in an actual tournament. He believed he deserved to win, because he could if he had too.

Is there something in your life that you want that you currently don't have? A dream job? A new living situation? Depth of Relationships? A significant other? A year on the Nationwide/PGA Tour? A job promotion? A vacation? Whatever it may be, go for it! Be risky. Take a risk and work harder than ever before. Don't look back. Believe it will transpire. Adapt as needed. Believe you deserve whatever your dreaming about and turn that dream into reality. Trust that it will work out, and know that even if the end result isn't exactly what you envision today, that doesn't mean it's not what is best and or meant for you! We deserve what we believe in, what we work towards, what we put our trust into! As tough as it is to admit this, I believe Johnny Miller knew what he was talking about.