A lost Art?

Have you ever been given advice that you didn't ask for? Have you ever felt that someone has asked you a question with the intent of giving you their advice rather than the desire to hear your answer? I have, in fact I experienced that just a few hours ago. A co-worker asked me a question about my future. When I responded it was clear that wasn't what they wanted to hear and or were assuming I would say. They then preceded to share their input on why I shouldn't do what I shared and I should continue doing what I have told them I am stopping. Now some of you reading this may want to know what they advised, what I said, and the subject matter, but that is of no relevance. What is relevant? Well, to me, it is the fact that rather than supporting me, rather than showing interest by asking questions to learn, they asked a question with a self centered pretense and when I didn't answer their question to their pretense their mood shifted. Now this happens to all of us, and the more I look back on my life, the more I see I've fallen trap to this so easily device. It is hard to ask a question and not respond, isn't it? It is hard to accept other's decisions as best for them and support them through positivity despite our feelings. It is hard to let silence occur. It is hard to not input, not advise, not "help". It is hard to listen. It is hard to actually be interested. It is hard to support effectively. But, if most of you are like I, through experience hard things generally are best. Hard things usually involves me letting go of myself and jumping on the wave of life, the wave of the cosmos, the wave of God. Why is it hard to not respond? Why is it hard to not merit advice to those whom don't ask? Maybe it is hard because it is hard to listen. Is listening an art? Is listening a skill that must be learned, inquired, and or trained to inherit? The more I look back on recent conversations, the more frustrating feelings have occured rather than encouraging feelings. Think about the last time you had a conversation with someone where the topic of conversation has been 'difficult, hard, uneasy, or confusing.' Have you felt the need to give an answer? Have you given an answer, or advice, or your thoughts or feelings? Did that individual ask for advice? Did they ask what you felt about it? Did they ask for your input? Or maybe, just maybe, did they just need an ear? Did they just need someone, who cared enough about them to listen for 5 minutes. Because really that is all it takes right, 5 minutes. 5 minutes to show someone that you care. 5 minutes to hear out someones inner most thoughts. One of my best friends, Aaron Benedetti, whom I respect abundantly, does this better than anyone I know! AB lives in the present moment more beautifully than anyone I know. He is always present in the now, yet without neglecting future responsibilities and opportunities, and with a beautiful balance of remembering the past so that it serves as a catalyst of growth and blossoming within the present! He is not afraid of silence....the unknown! I love this about him and make it a daily ritual of mine own so that I myself can cultivate this into my lifestyle. It is a talent, it is an art-form. It is the ability to clear your mind of all pretense and deception. It is the positive trait of living in the moment, connecting with the present energy and emotions that float around us in the very particles we breathe every moment of every day. Slow down and breathe! Think about it. The oxygen we take for granted every second. The beauty that we miss because we are so worried about where it may come from next, that we don't see that it is already here! I don't have any tattoo's, but the one that I have contemplated getting forever etched on my body for the past 3 or 4 years is the word Peace and or Shalom, but I would like it in the Aramaic script. I read a deeper meaning of this word a few years back that has forever stuck. The author described Peace, Shalom, as this; "The ever surrounding goodness and presence of God." Goodness is all around us, isn't it? I believe it is. Yet, if I'm honest with myself I find it easier to see negativity. I find it easier to see what isn't around me that I want to have around me, rather than focusing on the good that is current. Yet, again, if I'm honest with myself, the less I focus on what isn't around me that I want, and the more I focus on the Shalom that abounds, the happier I am. The more at Peace I am. The slower I am to want. The better listener I become. The more secure with the unknown I feel. The more I see the Shalom of life, the more I believe in others. The more I want to know others, and their interests, and their mindset and their thoughts. The more I want to ask questions and actually listen. The more I want to not give my advice, but rather hear other's. The more I believe in the Shalom that resides in the very ability to move my fingers, in correlation with my cognitive thought process and actually type this very blog is nothing less than Beautiful and Fascinating! Today my co-worker, in my opinion, wasn't very supportive. But, thankfully I believe in my decision. I believe in my life, because I believe in the Shalom of life. I believe that despite not having a fully explainable answer to a question that was posed futuristically (which is mere speculation anyway) all will be good! All will be beautiful. And all will be Shalom. Next time someone comes to you with the braveness, the courage, the vulnerability to share something about their life, I encourage you to listen. Take a breath. Think about the Shalom around you. Think about what they are saying. Listen to what they want, need, and or feel. And please, if someone doesn't ask you for you advice, it is not helping them to give it. In fact it may hinder. I know we all have been in these situations before, because we are all human and we are all striving to exist within this crazy energetic world to the best of our abilities.

Shalom