~the uncommon entering the common or something like that~

Intentions are powerful.  I had a busy day filled with chores, but a low key day when compared to modern America.  After a siesta I arose with the thought to write.  Thoughts about the art of conversation permeated my mind.  Thoughts of how I want to improve my conversations.  Misconceptions that I want to vanish like the sun in it's last horizon seconds.  So, as I pulled my sweater over my head, down my stomach and slid my laptop in my satchel, off I went for a glass of wine.  As I walked a few blocks and across the river, the sunshine beamed through the breaks in the storm clouds.  It depicted dark and light well.  Fluffy deep grey ominous clouds with bright yellow hues shown through permeated peace.  As I entered the bar I pleasantly saw Janet.  An acquaintance turning friend who tends the bar.  Her aura is alluring.  Slow and contemplative.  Unique yet classical.  Short curly hair depicting her quirky yet intelligent energy.  At the end of the bar was a familiar rep from a local distribution company.  I through the skinny door and onto the multi colored, patchy tiled floor.  Chaotic yet subtle.  Immediately the universe said, "Here you go Seth, you get what you wish for."  I immediately was in conversation.  A new conversation despite the people not being new.  Two new wines from a new winery were introduced.  I've had these conversations with him before, but not about these wines.  Today is new.  This conversation is new.  Thus, this leads to my ponder.  Obviously we encounter similar individuals on a daily basis, no matter who you are and whereabouts you reside on this enormous earth.  But how many people actually view every day, let alone every moment and or conversation as new.  Maybe I am projecting my mentality and my life, but I am not alone.  These thoughts arise from actual encounters.  And all too often, in my opinion do these repetitive encounters occur.  Let me break it down a bit.  Most people work.  And work in a location that doesn't change.  Thus, they see the same co-workers on a daily basis and quite possibly even the same customers and or cliental.  And if your world is anything like mine, a very common questions are:  "how are you", "what's new", "how have you been", "how is your day thus far", "what did you do today" or something of the like.  So, what is my point?  Think for a second about what common responses are.  "Good", "Nothing or not much", "ok", "mediocre at best" was a favorite of a dear college friend, etc...  So, what?  This is normal, right?  Yes, of course it is.  But that is my point.  Do we think before we speak?  Why are we not honest?  Or why are we afraid of honesty?  Some tell me because I don't want to be honest with everyone that I encounter on a daily basis and that I understand.  But, indulge me for a moment.  There's the coworker that you are not friends with, but you see every morning and you exchange pleasantries.  She says, "good morning, how was your night?"  You say, "good, thanks."  She says, "yea, what did you do?"  You say, "not much."  Why do we do this?  Why didn't you say that you made an amazing dinner and tell her about it.  Why don't you tell her you walked to the co-op and bought some tilapia, papaya's, bell peppers, onions, lemons, dill, rice, and a beautiful Pinot Noir.  Why don't you tell her that you made homed papaya salsa and it turned out amazing!  Why do we downplay what we do?  Or better question is why do I downplay what I do?  I've lived in this crazy confined world that everything has to be answered a certain way.  So maybe I am just writing this for myself, but I think there are others thinking these thoughts also.  Maybe individuals ask you certain questions because they actually want to know.  Even if the answer is deemed bad or uncomfortable.  To keep the ball rolling.  To learn.  To be inspired.  To feel free within a structure that is confining.  To know that they are not the only ones dreaming.  Some say this is exhausting, for I use to think this, but that is when I had a "right and wrong" mindset of how to live.  Rather than the mindset of living.  It has taken me some time, but I'm thankful for progression.  I'm thankful for creativity.  I'm thankful for acceptance.  And I am thankful that art is in everything.  Especially conversations and food since I cannot live without the two.  So next time, when someone asks you a question, may the answer come out.  May the truth reside rather than then the memorized mumble jumble translation that is all to common in this uncommon energetic love ball I call life.  So, here's to the uncommon entering the common to make it common and change the common to the uncommon or something like that.  

~namaste 

Just more Words

I've recently been overwhelmed with the future.  So the little voice in my head tells me to be present in the current moment.  So I do, and am not happy.  Yep, I said it.  Firstly, I would like to say that I do believe we have the power to control our happiness.  Perspective is key in life.  There are always things that are good and things that are bad.  There are always things.  What defines them as good or bad?  The individual, right?  Take for instance sushi.  It's the latest and greatest and you're not cool if you don't like sushi.  As if sushi is new and trendy.  I'm sure people who lived 10,000 years ago never caught fish and ate it raw.  Anywho.  I'm not thinking today about happiness or how to obtain happiness, for that is up to the individual.  I'm thinking about feelings in general.  I'm thinking about sadness.  I'm thinking about confusion.  I'm thinking about obscurity.  I'm thinking about complacency and feeling robotic.  Now, mentally, for me I run the risk of ridicule if I publish this blog.  Why you may ask?  Well, because I see the society that I live amidst as a whole to be overtly happy.  Everything is good.  Everything is great.  When I ask someone how they are, I rarely hear anything but slogans such as; good, beautiful, great, never better, wonderful, awesome, etc...  But is that really the case?  If so, more power to you.  But what if you're sad.  What if you're depressed.  What if your unhappy?  What if you're bitter?  What if you're angry?  Oh no, not angry.  Isn't that ok?  Aren't those normal feelings that reside within this entity we call a human body?  Can one be honest about being sad and still have a smile on their face?  I believe so.  I find it funny when I respond honestly to individuals.  Especially acquaintances whom I know.  We are so accustomed to ask the traditional question, how are you, but then often shock fills the air when the pre-determined "good" or "well" isn't uttered from lips.
Trying recalling your last encounter with someone who was honest about how they truly felt.  What did you feel?  Comfort?  Discomfort?  Confusion?  Relief?  Fear?  Joy?  Anything?  Is this a subject to even spend time thinking and feeling about?  Now again, please don't assume that I am sad and depressed.  At times am I, and I'm ok with that.  And frankly, I question those who aren't.  What I am thinking about and posing here for lack of better terms is honesty.  Honest living.  Honest consciousness.  Honest love.  Honest intentions.  Honest minds.  Honest words.  Honest actions.  What is honesty?  Why do we answer people the way we do.  Have you ever answered someones question and then thought to yourself, why the fuck did I say that?  I don't think that.  In fact that is the exact opposite of what I think.  Maybe I'm engaging with too many individuals and need to focus whom I encounter, but I've found myself saying a bunch of words, a lot that I truly don't mean.  That I truly just say to keep the situation at hand "good".  But is that good?  Is it good to not know who you are for the sake of someone else?  Where did I get this pretense that I have to agree with people.  For if I believe in that statement than it should drive me to be honest for they should agree with me.  Oh, and there is the dilemma in life.  Is there such a thing as correct?  Is there such a thing as good?  Is there such a thing as bad.  Or is it just whatever.  And I don't mean whatever in a non-care way.  I mean it in a fact way.  It just happened.  And then the next moment is going to happen.  And the next.  And the next.  And the next won't go back to the preceding 6 moments or the future 10 moments.  It just is that moment and nothing more and nothing less.
I've lost my train of thought, so that is all for now.  Goodbye.

~ island life ~

What is it about walking down middle's of side streets at night?  Is it the absence of cars?  Is it the calming sense the moon and stars exude?  Is it the freedom?  Is it the mental metaphor of "we are all on our own roads and no matter what it's shape or pave to just keep moving forward?"  Is it all of the above?  Is it more?  Maybe.
Last night after a beautiful Monasterie's Exile from Death and Taxes, Peter and I walked down middle's of streets.  Reno was quite.  The day's spring winds had ceased.  The moon was 2 days until it's full.  The stars shown amidst the city lights and it felt good.  It might be that new beginnings are on the horizon.  A new city is imminent after much needed work, savings, and patience.  Despite the road's not changing in and of itself, new blocks begin always along the same road.  Have you ever pondered this life parallel?  Any roadway, highway, street, interstate, or path taken never leads to the exact same place.  It always has options.  It always has detours.  It always has exits and entrances.  It always has intersecting roads anew.  No matter the flow of traffic or the busyness it encapsulates, there is always another road leading elsewhere.  Maybe somewhere better.  Maybe somewhere worse.  Maybe just to the next somewhere.  As I strolled down the middle of the street last night, I noticed new side streets that I hadn't before.  It is easy to get into a routine route.  It is easy to hop on the same road and head to the same destination.  It's what is engrained to us from a young age.  Head down this road and it will get you to this destination.  What if that destination isn't what you imagined it to be?  Then what?  What if that end destination didn't have the beautiful things someone else told you, but the exit 40 miles back that headed south did.  What then?  
Last night as I was walking and breathing, it was as if time stood still.  What is time?  Does time exist?  Can it change speeds?  Not looking to my buddy Peter but rather the moon I asked him this question.  "In all your travels, all your cities and countries you've lived, what and when and why were you the happiest?"  The momentary silence was beautiful.  It was as if I could see China, Minnesota, San Diego, Chicago, Poland and the activities that he did paint a picture upon the street we were walking.  Then he said, "probably in college, in the summer, when three of my buddies and I hopped in the car and road tripped.  The windows were down, the air was warm, the music was flowing and there wasn't a worry in the world.  It was all about the now.  
What happened to the now?  It didn't go anywhere, but often it seems so far away.  Am I the only one who feels and thinks this way?  I sure hope not, but lately I've been practicing this mentality and it sure feels like I'm drifting away to my own island.  But then again, it's a beautiful island and the in my travels some of the most beautiful and exotic places I've set foot on have been remote islands off of Croatia and in the middle of the South Pacific.  Thus, if I am drifting toward my own island I say, yes please more.  Do you have an island?  Have you ever taken a one person raft through the ocean to your own private island?  Do you want to?  If so, maybe think about taking a different exit.  The place it leads may be pleasantly surprising.  

~namaste~

~ fluff ~

The clouds are beautiful today.  They are bigger than the last few weeks.  Fluffier.  They have many depths and layers.  Some are small and subtle and others are grandeur.  Today they reminded me of art. They fluff and circular humps atop seemed picturesque.  Almost as if Bob Ross' spirit was amidst them painting them as I drove.  Clouds creative perspective.  They create depth.  They create forms and figures, many different figures all whilst remaining clouds.  As I sit now and gaze upon them, do the other individuals around me see the same figures though or different?  We are all looking at the same cloud, but I wonder what they see.  I wonder what figure they are creating in their mind.  Most likely it's not the same.  Isn't this similar to life?  Is it up to the seer to create?  To determine a perspective?  To determine a meaning?  To choose how they want to see life surrounding?  Are clouds metaphoric?  Do clouds portray what life could be, or is, or was, or will be?  Many shapes.  Many figures.  Many transformations.  Multiple layers.  Changing directional patterns.  Many faces.  Many choices and interpretations of the forms.  Always different while remaining it's subatomic structure.  Always moving.  Always changing and shifting forms based upon the temperature, the pressure, the climate conditions, the wind, the context of it's surrounds and the seasons.  Don't we do this to an extent?  Are we the same as clouds?  Do we have similarities?  Do share the same dynamics?  I sure hope so.  For clouds are interesting, dynamic, beautiful, and purposeful.  For if I am anything like a cloud, I am quite fortunate and beautiful.  To clouds.  :)

namaste

hey cat, what are you doing?

I've never been one for cliche's in the past, but recently that perspective has changed.  Stereotypes and cliche's exist for reasons.  I feel I must premise this by stating that I believe every second of every day to be new and contextual.  Thus, I never want to assume and or stereotype without current and proper facts.  However, I'm coming to find that everything, everyone, every thought, every tradition, every saying, basically everything that on sees and thinks in life comes from somewhere and arises based upon facts.  Thus, curiosity seems enthralling.  If everyone is different and unique, yet intrinsically the same, we all have different minds and therefore different perspectives.  Thus, is everything different to some paradigm or degree?  So, what killed the cat?  Did curiosity really kill it?  Upon further research of this quote I came to find a preceding translation.  Rather than curiosity, some use to say "care" killed the cat.  They said this from what normally proceeds care.  What is that, you may ask?  Some say care is to worry or overstep your bounds.  To care so much about something actually brings worry and sorrow.  Interesting.  So, is this ancient proverb telling us not to care?  Not to worry?  Not to be sorrowful?  Now I can only hear some modern people completely taking those last questions out of proportion.  For many will argue against care.  Care is good.  Care is kind.  Care is necessary some may say.  But the question I'm pondering of late is have I and or my society put our care in the wrong place?  Do we care for things that pertain to others and or philosophy's rather than care for ourselves.  Do we care more about others and outside situations because we don't want to care about our own internal situations?  If we cared more for ourself and our situations at hand and then harmonized and executed these situations in a beautiful manner, wouldn't that then lessen all the other outside situations that we as humans feel the need to "care" for.  Simply put, are we more curious trying to know and help things outside of our realms rather than trying to know and take "care" of the realms that our currently in front of us and more accurately within us.  Within our soul, within our brain, within ourselves.  Maybe that is what is killing the cat, the burden of caring for everything rather than the self?  I'm quite curious these days, but the derivative of my curiosity has shifted.  I use to be curious to know why others lived the way they live and what the proper way of life was.  Now I am curious of who I am, of why I choose to live the way I choose to live.  Why I wake every morning and put the clothes I choose to on.  Why I eat the way I eat.  Why I intake the energy's I choose to intake.  Why I exert the energy's I choose to exert.  Why I speak the way I speak.  Why I choose to give my time, money, resources, thoughts, spirit, and energy to the things I do on a daily basis.  Is it because that is what I am suppose to do?  Is it because of others telling me that is the way of life and no matter what you think or feel that is just the way it is?  God, help us, I hope not!  Is it because I'm not curious of what I want and am only curious of what others want, thus I try to keep up with my surroundings?  Is it because I've been told not to think for myself?  Is there such a thing as over "care"?  Are there even any definitive answers to these questions or could there be over 8 billion answers to these questions?  Whatever may be the case, I'm pondering this ancient proverb as of late and I feel alive.  For I view curiosity as a beautiful attribute, but I will say the direction of my ponder and direction of the action of curiosity certainly is changing as of late and I'm finding more beauty in that.  So, here's to curiosity.  Who knows, surprise and beauty may transpire?

~namaste

h2o

Have you ever stared at water?  Have you ever thought about what water is?  Like what it really is, in it's live essence, it's living state, it's molecular structure and not just its sustainable state for you.  Water is the most abundant compound on the Earth's surface.  We all obviously know that roughly 70 percent of this earth we live upon is water.  I'm not going to try to figure out why fully, but it certainly sparks curiosity.  I'm curious why it is not the reverse, why earth isn't 30 water and 70 percent land.  I should have paid more attention in science classes.  Damn religion, ego, ignorance, and hormones.  On the positive, good thing I live in a generation where I can learn anything I want with the click of a button (pending the source be reliable and from an expertise).  Anywho, back to my question.  Have you ever stared at water?  Like really stared?  To the point you see the energy within it?  To the point you feel the power it holds?  To the point that you may never look at water in the same gravity and perspective?  Well I have and its intriguing.  I have barely begun this.  I'm confused how far to research it and even how to, but that is ok, because I'm fascinated with it.

2013 has begun and much has already transpired in just 27 days.  I've spent time in San Francisco, CA on two different trips and have another one planned next week.  I'm working two jobs, both in new fields, and learning abundantly in a short period of time.  I'm learning that for me, honesty really is the best policy.  I use to be so scared of honesty.  I know why and don't need to rehash that, but it's freeing and liberating to truly be honest, both with yourself and with others.  I'm obviously talking on a deep, internal, love aspect, but it correlates for me into little things in life as well.  What do I mean exactly?  Take this for instance.  How often when someone asks you if you like something, do you truly be honest with them?  Or maybe look at it from this angle.  When someone asks you if you like something, you respond with whatever you think they may want to hear or what you know they like because deep down inside you have no idea if you like it or not.  Isn't that ok though?  Isn't it ok to say to someone, what do you mean, I have no idea.  Isn't it ok to disagree?  Maybe I am talking elementary because of how I was raised and how much fear I use to live in, but for some reason and feeling within me, I don't think I'm alone with this thought.  What is it that makes us feel obligated to be somebody we are not?  What is it that makes us feel as if we have to agree to get along.  The more I disagree with people, in a calm and loving manner, but an honest manner, the more I see whether or not they are truly my friends. The more I be honest with others, despite what they may think about the situation at hand or what they may even think about me after the fact, the more I find myself.  The more I find who I am and what I was put on this earth to contribute.  The more honest I am with myself, the more fulfilled I feel.  Do you feel this way?  I don't think I am the only one.  And you know what, even if I am the only one, I'm ok with that because if I wasn't ok with that, my thoughts and premises stated earlier would be hypocritical and erroneous.  Oh the conundrums and fluidity of life, thought, feelings, energy, and science.  What a beautiful dance it is when willing to listen to the music playing inside of you!  Going back to San Francisco.  I spent a few wonderful days there embracing 2012's end and contributing to the commencement of 2013 with some of the most important people in my life!  Not only are they family, but they are friends and teaches and companions and fellow travelers!  And you know what I did to end an old chapter and begin another?  I watched water.  I observed the ocean.  I watched its movement.  I saw its beauty.  I saw its power.  I saw its elegance.  I saw its rhythm.  I saw its intention.  I saw its fluidity.  I watched it slowly roll in toward the rocky cliffs.  I watched it come in from afar, crash upon the solid rocks, shoot up into the sky, settle back down in little swirling pools, and then you know what I watched?  I watched it leave.  I watched it wash away.  I watched it rhythmically maneuver its way back out to sea.  But then I watched it all happen again, and again, and again.  It never stopped.  It never ceased.  Different waves came in, and how they crashed varied, and some washed away faster than others, but the process was the same.  The beautiful dance was the same despite the differences of rhythm.  It was a beautiful site and energy to be amongst.  After a good chunk of time watching this, I wrote a few things down and tossed it away in the sea.  I gave it back to the water.  Trusting in the rhythmical patterns and fluidity it embodies.  I wrote down a few things that I wanted to release and let go of for they are meant to be back in the ocean and not upon my shores and I also wrote down things I desire the ocean carries my way to crash upon my shores in 2013!  It was a powerful day, and a large component to its beauty was that I took the time to watch the water.  Thank you water, thank you.

-cheers h2o

Profundity of Hair

I have gained a new perspective and respect toward women.  Last night after my shower, I realized how hair can be a chore when you are not use to having long hair.  For years of my life, I had short hair.  Clean cut, never more than an inch or two max, and easily dry-able without any needs necessary than the air we breathe.  Now, not so much, and I love it!!!  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love the freedom it brings.  My long hair is assisting me in releasing control in life.  Seriously you might say?  Yes, seriously.  Allow me to explain.  For years, I had short hair that I would wax or pomade and no matter the wind, unless it was extreme, it wouldn't move.  But that isn't how life is suppose to be.  Everything moves.  Everything is moving.  Nothing is stagnant.  And the moment you and I become, is the moment that we stop evolving.  Thus, my hair is teaching me to let go.  My hair is teaching me the beauty in movement.  The beauty in change.  The beauty of imperfection because imperfection is actually the artistic beauty that brings you to your next destination.  If everything was perfect, then nothing would need to happen.  How boring would life like that be.  No thanks.  Now, when I walk down the street, I feel the wind grab hold of the follicles as if it is a soft delicate hand running its fingers through.  It makes me feel alive.  It makes me aware of the now.  It makes me see that sometimes in life your hair blows in your face and it is difficult to see but that doesn't mean you stop walking, stop living.  No, on the contrary, it means that you embrace the difficulties, you embrace the cloudy vision, you embrace that you may not know what is going on and trust that you are walking in the exact direction of your next opportunity!  You gain confidence in yourself.  You gain confidence that the wind is more than wind.  Maybe wind is God himself, or herself, or itself, or just self.  Maybe the wind is telling you which direction to look, to walk, to shift and or to follow.  Maybe the wind is the breathe of the living cosmos that we all walk amongst guiding you each step of the way in this beautiful mysterious and boundless life.

Then, upon these insights, new ones came about.  I began to think about the "respect for women" thought.  Why do I associate long hair with women.  We are all humans, right?  We all have hair, right?  Why then did my mind firstly associate gaining respect for women because they have long hair.  Why didn't I think about all humanity that has long hair.  Why?  Because of my experience.  Because of my traditions.  Because of my society and contextual structures that I was raised and lived for so long.  Well, thankfully those structures are being widened and deepened and opened and well, lets be honest, boundless!  Don't we all have masculine and feminine qualities.  Don't all humans contain both masculine and feminine hormones.  Surely there are anatomical physical traits that separate male and female, but that doesn't mean that we are solely male or female.  Surely we are all different and have differences, but let's step to the side and look at our similarities.  Don't we all have very similar tendencies, qualities, scientific data, anatomy and feelings.  Now please here me, I know we all have incredible differences as well based upon our own unique lives, but scientifically speaking and philosophical deduction points that we are all uniquely connected as one species as well.  Thus, why do we separate ourselves so much.  Why do we view differences in personality, appearance, communication, philosophy, faith, and religion as dividing points.  Aren't we all of the same essence?  

A few weeks ago, late in the night, I was walking home to my apartment alone when two young guys whom I was about to pass on the sidewalk verbally made fun of my "scarf".  Now I didn't care because clearly these two individuals were ignorant, drunk, close-minded, and insecure.  What they said is not of importance, although it was quite degrading and if I chose a different sexually than I do could even be considered a hate crime by our legal system, but when they said it I stopped and said hello.  I said, I'm sorry, did you say something to me?  They began to laugh and hit each other while saying, look at this tough guy he wants to start something.  I replied something along the lines of, I'd love to start a conversation with you if you want.  Now, I know I may have been instigating these individuals a bit, but I felt compelled to stand and listen since they were the ones to speak to me first.  As they walked toward me, I said nothing and smiled.  One of them at about 3' in front of me took one big step toward me, pulled his arm back, and as he lunged his fist toward me I turned my head to the side and down a little.  Thankfully, he stopped his "scare tactic" air-punch and I did not get punched.  I then stood up straight.  Thanked them for saying that I had a "nice" scarf, despite if I had to assume at this point I don't think they meant it in the same fashion and cheers'd them a good night.  As I began walking away, they followed asking me why I was walking away and if I wanted to fight.  I gave them a little peace sign and continued on my way and a few steps later they ceased following and went back in their direction.  Again, I want to state it wasn't the best for me to stop and create a conversation with these two guys because it was apparent from the get go they didn't want to have any sort of intellectual let alone respectful conversation.  But, I'm glad I did stop.  I'm glad I didn't succumb to their tactics.  I'm glad I didn't throw hate back in their face.  I'm glad I smiled at them and wished them well.  The point of why I share this story is not for what I did or what they did, but for intellectual awareness and thought provocation.  What on earth allows someone to think that just because they look different, speak different, act different, think differently, and believe differently they are actually any different.  Different doesn't mean different.  I hope you're still following amongst these differences.  For instance,  maybe 10 people will read this quite sporadic, grammatically individual, and not great syntactical blog.  But, will all 10 people read it the same?  Will the same thoughts be provoked afterward?  Do all 10 look the same?  Do all 10 have the same hair?  Of course not.  And to expound further, not only do all 10 have different hair, but probably all 10 have different winds blowing their hair in different directions.  Thus, no matter your hair and the direction of the wind, may you float with that wind as beautifully as the clouds!  Last but not least, I write this for myself.  I believe that the majority of what an individual says and writes is actually because they desire it within.  Thus, these writings are for me, so that I continue to blow with the wind as beautiful as the clouds and that I choose to Love everyone and everything despite differences.  And if for some reason these words resonate at all with whomever may read them is for lack of better thought right now because I'm tired, "icing on the cake".

-namaste