I've recently been overwhelmed with the future. So the little voice in my head tells me to be present in the current moment. So I do, and am not happy. Yep, I said it. Firstly, I would like to say that I do believe we have the power to control our happiness. Perspective is key in life. There are always things that are good and things that are bad. There are always things. What defines them as good or bad? The individual, right? Take for instance sushi. It's the latest and greatest and you're not cool if you don't like sushi. As if sushi is new and trendy. I'm sure people who lived 10,000 years ago never caught fish and ate it raw. Anywho. I'm not thinking today about happiness or how to obtain happiness, for that is up to the individual. I'm thinking about feelings in general. I'm thinking about sadness. I'm thinking about confusion. I'm thinking about obscurity. I'm thinking about complacency and feeling robotic. Now, mentally, for me I run the risk of ridicule if I publish this blog. Why you may ask? Well, because I see the society that I live amidst as a whole to be overtly happy. Everything is good. Everything is great. When I ask someone how they are, I rarely hear anything but slogans such as; good, beautiful, great, never better, wonderful, awesome, etc... But is that really the case? If so, more power to you. But what if you're sad. What if you're depressed. What if your unhappy? What if you're bitter? What if you're angry? Oh no, not angry. Isn't that ok? Aren't those normal feelings that reside within this entity we call a human body? Can one be honest about being sad and still have a smile on their face? I believe so. I find it funny when I respond honestly to individuals. Especially acquaintances whom I know. We are so accustomed to ask the traditional question, how are you, but then often shock fills the air when the pre-determined "good" or "well" isn't uttered from lips.
Trying recalling your last encounter with someone who was honest about how they truly felt. What did you feel? Comfort? Discomfort? Confusion? Relief? Fear? Joy? Anything? Is this a subject to even spend time thinking and feeling about? Now again, please don't assume that I am sad and depressed. At times am I, and I'm ok with that. And frankly, I question those who aren't. What I am thinking about and posing here for lack of better terms is honesty. Honest living. Honest consciousness. Honest love. Honest intentions. Honest minds. Honest words. Honest actions. What is honesty? Why do we answer people the way we do. Have you ever answered someones question and then thought to yourself, why the fuck did I say that? I don't think that. In fact that is the exact opposite of what I think. Maybe I'm engaging with too many individuals and need to focus whom I encounter, but I've found myself saying a bunch of words, a lot that I truly don't mean. That I truly just say to keep the situation at hand "good". But is that good? Is it good to not know who you are for the sake of someone else? Where did I get this pretense that I have to agree with people. For if I believe in that statement than it should drive me to be honest for they should agree with me. Oh, and there is the dilemma in life. Is there such a thing as correct? Is there such a thing as good? Is there such a thing as bad. Or is it just whatever. And I don't mean whatever in a non-care way. I mean it in a fact way. It just happened. And then the next moment is going to happen. And the next. And the next. And the next won't go back to the preceding 6 moments or the future 10 moments. It just is that moment and nothing more and nothing less.
I've lost my train of thought, so that is all for now. Goodbye.
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